Category: Parenting Psychology
We have all done it. Or at least, we have all thought it. “Look at your cousin, he got an A+ in Math.” “Why can’t you be more like the neighbor’s son?”
In Bangladesh, comparing children is almost a cultural habit. We think we are motivating them to work harder. But psychology tells us the opposite happens. When a child hears constant comparisons, they don’t feel motivated—they feel inadequate.
Why You Should Stop Comparing:
- It Kills Confidence: When a child feels they can never be “good enough” in your eyes, they stop trying. They start to believe, “I am just not smart,” which is rarely true.
- Every Flower Blooms at a Different Time: Einstein did not speak until he was four. Some children are quick with numbers; others are gifted with words or leadership. Your child has a unique timeline. Respect it.
- It Creates Resentment: Instead of loving their cousin or friend, your child may start to hate them because they are always being measured against them.
What to Do Instead: Compare your child to themselves. Don’t ask: “Did you beat Sadman in the exam?” Ask: “Did you do better than you did last time?”
The REMS Approach: At Rajendrapur English Medium School, we recognize that every student has a unique “Superpower.” Our teachers are trained to identify individual strengths—whether it’s in Robotics, Hifz, or Public Speaking—and nurture that specific talent, rather than forcing everyone to be the same.
Tags: Child Psychology, Parenting Mistakes, Student Confidence, Mental Health, REMS, Positive Parenting